He left and I finally got over it but I can’t believe my children have left me alone. All but one of them moved out of state.

They say a daughter will always cling to her mother but that wasn’t the case with her. She moved to Florida with her husband and two kids. Rarely do they have time for me. When I ask to come see her and my grandchildren, she always has something going on that won’t allow me to visit, but that is okay. She is entitled to her life.

Of my two sons, one got married and the other didn’t. One lives in Minnesota and the other lives close to me in Mississippi.

The one who lives here says that I have a problem with his lifestyle. I have never said that to him because I believe a good mother should be quiet even when she knows that her son is hurting himself. Though I have heard that his lifestyle could kill him, I don’t judge him but I do wish better for him.

My church family seems to be the only friends that I have. But sometimes that can be a hassle because they ask me to do things for them such as to work in the nursery. I do it even though it is not what I want to do. And I don’t say a word but you would think that they know I raised my children and I am tired of taking care of kids period. 

Every one calls me Margie but my name is really Marjorie. And I have never liked the name Margie. The only reason I have let people continue to call me by the name my ex started is because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

Lying in bed right before sleep is always the time I think of my kids and of being lonely. They just don’t understand what it is like being alone especially since I gave up my youth and life to be what they needed. But you know, I would never in my wildest dreams say this to anyone. I want them to love me so much. They just don’t know the tears I have cried.

And here I am again tonight in bed alone. It’s a pity that I never married again after my kids’ father. But they needed me. So, I didn’t even date another man. The last twenty-five years has been lonely but I guess any good mother should be glad she got her little ones out of the nest in good condition. Each one of mine is doing fine and seem to be happy. They just don’t appear to have time for me

Finally around 1:00 AM I drift off to sleep. My sleep is the really good kind where you seem dead to the world. Any noise is ignored too, except for that person talking to me now. What is it she’s saying?

“Marjorie. Marjorie girl. Wake up.”